Muslim Man marrying a Christian orJewish women
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has permitted us to marry Jewish and Christian woman, on
condition that they are chaste and avoid zina (unlawful sexual
relations), and that the wali (guardian) of that Christian woman is a
Muslim.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are At-Tayyibaat [all kinds of
Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of
slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and
fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people
of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is
lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the
believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture
(Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due
Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of
marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not
committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends.
And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and
in all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s)
Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and
Al-Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in
the Hereafter he will be among the losers”
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
What is meant by chaste is refraining from zina (unlawful sexual
relationships).
Ibn Katheer said:
This is the view of the majority, which the most correct opinion, so as
to avoid the combination of her being a non-Muslim with her being
unchaste, which would mean that she is totally corrupt and thus her
husband will get, as the Arabic proverb says, “Bad goods and
cheated on the weight.” The apparent meaning of the aayah is
that what is meant is those who are chaste and refrain from zina.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/55
The condition of the woman’s wali being a Muslim is indicated
by the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a way (to
triumph) over the believers”
[al-Nisa’ 4:141]
However, we do not advise you to marry a non-Muslim woman, nor do we
advise you to marry just any Muslim woman. For married life is not
based only on beauty and attraction, rather the wise Muslim must look
with insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure that
his house will be looked after in his absence, and he needs to bring up
his children, and he will not be able to find that or other things
which every wise husband seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman.
This is the advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him).
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four
reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious
commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed
with dust [i.e., may you prosper].”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).
Al-Nawawi said:
The correct meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) was describing what people usually do,
for they seek these four characteristics, the last of which in their
view is religious commitment, but you, the one who is seeking guidance,
should look for a wife who is religious. But this is not an absolute
command.
This hadeeth encourages keeping company with people who are religiously
committed in all things, because the one who keeps company with them
will benefit from their good attitude and morals, their blessing and
their good ways, and he will be safe from mischief at their hands.
Sharh Muslim, 10/52
But marriage to women of the People of the Book leads to a great deal
of mischief and trouble, such as:
1. He may have to be
courteous to this wife of his at the expense of his religion,
especially if she is “very committed” to her own
religion. This may mean that she will hang up crosses and go to the
church, and the children will not be safe in this environment.
2. She is not going
to wash properly after finishing her period, or tell him not to have
intercourse with her when she is menstruating; she is going to make him
do something that is wrong according to sharee’ah and cause
him physical harm.
3. He is going to be
put in an embarrassing situation because of her careless attitude
concerning dress and her mixing with men and speaking to them.
4. The states and
governments of these women of the Book will be on their side and will
give them custody of the children if differences arise and divorce
takes place. This will cause these children to be lost and to fall into
kufr. Such cases are too well known to need mentioning here and too
many to count.
One of the poets said:
“Marriage to a Christian is an abhorrent action which leads
to the kufr of the children for sure.
Whoever accepts for a child of his to be a kaafir is himself a kaafir,
even if he claims to be a Muslim.
A man may become a kaafir, following his wife, and enter the Fire of
Hell forever.
You must look for one who is religiously committed, if you want a sound
marriage.
Forget about the people of kufr and beware of marrying them, for that
will lead to a lot of evil.
The children of such a marriage will not be guided; they will swell the
ranks of evildoers.
Secondly:
It is not permissible for you to force your Christian wife –
if you do marry her – to become Muslim. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path
has become distinct from the wrong path. Whoever disbelieves in
Taaghoot [falsehood, false gods] and believes in Allaah, then he has
grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will never break. And Allaah
is All-Hearer, All-Knower”
[al-Baqarah 2:256]
Ibn Katheer said:
Allaah says: “There is no compulsion in religion”
meaning: do not force anyone to enter Islam, for it is obvious and
clear, and its proof and evidence are apparent. There is no need to
force anyone to enter it, rather whomever Allaah guides to Islam and
opens his heart to it and illuminates his insight will enter it with
conviction; but whoever Allaah makes blind in his heart and seals his
hearing and insight will not benefit from being compelled to enter the
religion by force. They said that the reason for the revelation of this
verse was concerning some people among the Ansaar, even though this
ruling is general.
Tasfeer Ibn Katheer, 1/311
We advise you – once again – to leave this woman
and to pray to Allaah to guide your heart to that which is in the best
interests of your religion. So long as you give her up for the sake of
Allaah, then you should be certain that Allaah will replace her for you
with someone better, for whoever gives up something for the sake of
Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
Question :
Thanks for answering my question. I want to know what you mean with
marrying a Jew or christian who should had chastity? Does touching and
kissing forbidden before marriage occurs? I have read in your anwers
that you tell muslim that the woman should be chaste. Is this only with
jew or christian girl or also, muslim woman? Does touching and kisssing
are included when you refer to chastidy? What should be the advice
given to a muslim boy that thinks touching is necessary before
marriage?
I appreciate this to be confidencial. Thanks so much for helping me.
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
Abu Ja’far Muhammad ibn Jareer al-Tabari gave a definition of
muhsanah in Jaami’ al-Bayaan ‘an Ta’weel
Aayi’l-Qur’aan (8/165):
“Muhsanah means the woman who is chaste and pure …
one who is chaste and protects her private parts from committing
immoral acts, as in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
‘And Maryam, the daughter of ‘Imraan, who guarded
her chastity…’ [al-Tahreem 66:12], meaning that
she kept herself above suspicious actions and protected herself from
immoral conduct.”
Then he discussed the interpretation of the aayah (interpretation of
the meaning): ‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are
chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were
given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your
time…’ [al-Maa’idah 5:5]
He said that some others said that what was meant by this aayah
(‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women
from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the
Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your
time…’) is chaste women from both groups, whether
they were slaves or free. Those who were of this opinion considered it
permissible to marry slave women who were Jews or Christians who
practised their religions, because of this aayah, but they considered
it haraam to marry promiscuous women, whether they were Muslims or from
the People of the Book. Then he mentioned reports to support this
opinion.
He also said: ‘There was some dispute among the scholars
about the interpretation of the phrase and chaste women from those who
were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your
time…- was this general or specific in application? Some
said that it is general and applies to all chaste women, because
muhsanaat means chaste women, and a Muslim is allowed to marry any
woman of the People of the Book, free or slave, from a country whose
people are engaged in hostilities with Islam or from a community which
is living under Islamic rule. They use as evidence for this the
apparent meaning of the phrase and chaste women from those who were
given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…
- taking muhsanaat to mean any chaste woman, whoever she may be. This
is the opinion of those who take muhsanaat to mean “chaste
women” in this context.
Others say that it refers only to the women of Jewish and Christian
communities who are living under Islamic rule. As regards those living
in regions that are hostile to Islam, Muslims are not permitted to
marry such women.
He mentions an important condition for marrying a woman of the People
of the Book, which every Muslim who wants to marry such a woman in a
non-Muslim country should pay attention to. This condition is that he
should be in a position where he is not afraid that his child will be
forced into kufr.
One of the obvious implications of this in our time is that a Muslim
should not put himself in a position where he will be forced to raise
his child as a kaafir in a non-Muslim country, where a child may be
forced to study something about Christianity, for example, or he may be
taken to church on Sundays, or the law may be on the side of the
non-Muslim woman, allowing her to take her child wherever she wants and
raise him in her family’s religion, etc. We ask Allaah to
keep us safe from all that and we seek refuge with Him from being
forsaken.
Shaykh al-Sa’di said in his Tafseer (commentary on the
Qur’aan), 1/458:
“‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are
chaste women – i.e., free and chaste - from the believers and
chaste women –free and chaste - from those who were given the
Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’
i.e., from among the Jews and Christians. This is adding specific
details to the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And do
not marry al-mushrikaat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship
Allaah alone)…’ [al-Baqarah 2:221].”
As for promiscuous women, those who do not keep themselves chaste and
free from immoral sexual conduct, it is not permitted to marry them,
whether they are Muslims or from among the People of the Book (Jews and
Christians), unless they repent, because Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning): “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery
marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any
but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers
such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Question :
What is the ruling on marrying a Jewish or Christian woman? Are the
Jews and Christians of this age regarded as people of the Book or as
mushrikeen?.
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
Marriage to a Jewish or Christian woman is permissible according to the
view of the majority of scholars. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy
on him) said in al-Mughni (7/99):
There is no difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the
permissibility of marrying free women of the people of the Book. Among
those from whom this view was narrated are ‘Umar,
‘Uthmaan, Talhah, Hudhayfah, Salmaan, Jaabir, and others.
Ibn al-Mundhir said: There is no sound narration from any of the
earliest generation to suggest that this is haraam. Al-Khallaal
narrated, with his isnaad, that Hudhayfah, Talhah, al-Jaarood ibn
al-Mu’alla and Udhaynah al-‘Abdi all married women
from among the people of the Book. This was also the view of the rest
of the scholars.
The main evidence concerning that is the verse in which Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are At Tayyibaat [all kinds of
Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of
slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and
fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people
of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is
lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the
believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture
(Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due
Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of
marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not
committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends.
And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and
in all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s)
Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al
Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in the
Hereafter he will be among the losers”
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
What is meant by muhsanah (translated here as chaste) is free and
chaste women. Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his
Tafseer:
This is the view of the majority here, and this is what appears to be
the case; lest she not only be a dhimmiyah but also unchaste, in which
case she will be totally corrupt and her husband will end up as
described in the proverb, “He bought bad dates and was
cheated in weights and measures too”. The apparent meaning of
the verse is that what is meant by al-muhsanaat (chaste women) is women
who refrain from zina, as Allaah says in another verse (interpretation
of the meaning):
“they (the above said slave-girls) should be chaste
[muhsanaat], not committing illegal sex, nor taking
boyfriends”
[al-Nisa’ 4:25]
The Christians and Jews are kuffaar and mushrikeen, according to the
Qur’aan, but they are excluded from the prohibition on
marrying their women, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they
believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes
is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases
you”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
This is the clearest way of reconciling between the two verses.
Allaah has described them as being mushrikeen as He says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks
to be their lords besides Allaah (by obeying them in things which they
made lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being
ordered by Allaah), and (they also took as their Lord) Messiah, son of
Maryam (Mary), while they (Jews and Christians) were commanded [in the
Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel)] to worship none but One Ilaah
(God — Allaah) Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be
worshipped but He). Praise and glory be to Him (far above is He) from
having the partners they associate (with Him)”
[al-Tawbah 9:31]
So they are kuffaar and mushrikeen, but Allaah has permitted us to eat
their meat and to marry their women if they are chaste. This is an
exemption from the general meaning of the verse in Soorat al-Baqarah.
But it should be noted that it is better and safer not to marry women
of the people of the Book, especially nowadays. Ibn Qudaamah (may
Allaah have mercy on him) said: “… as this is the
case, it is better not to marry a woman of the people of the Book,
because ‘Umar said to those who married women of the people
of the Book: ‘Divorce them,’ so they divorced them,
except Hudhayfah. ‘Umar said to him: ‘Divorce
her.’ (Hudhayfah) said: ‘Do you bear witness that
she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal,
divorce her.’ He said: ‘Do you bear witness that
she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live
coal.’ He said: ‘I know that she is a live coal,
but she is permissible for me.’ A while later, he divorced
her and it was said to him: ‘Why did you not divorce her when
‘Umar commanded you to?’ He said: ‘I did
not want the people to think that I had done something wrong (by
marrying her).’ Perhaps he was fond of her or perhaps they
had a child together so he was fond of her.”
Al-Mughni, 7/99
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If the
woman of the people of the Book is known to be chaste and to keep away
from the means that lead to immorality, it is permissible, because
Allaah has permitted that and has permitted us to marry their woman and
eat their meat.
“But nowadays there is the fear that those who marry them may
be faced with much evil. They may call him to their religion and that
may lead to their children being raised as Christians. So the danger is
very real and very serious. To be on the safe side, the believer should
not marry them. And in most cases there is no guarantee that the woman
will not commit immoral actions, or bring along children from a
previous relationship… but if the man needs to do that then
there is no sin on him, so that he can keep himself chaste and lower
his gaze by being married to her. He should strive to call her to Islam
and beware of her evil and of allowing her to drag him or the children
towards kufr.”
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/172
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
The Christians and Jews are kuffaar and mushrikeen, according to the
Qur’aan, but they are excluded from the prohibition on
marrying their women, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they
believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes
is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases
you”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
Although we say that it is permissible, and we do not doubt
that there is a clear text concerning that, nevertheless we do not
think that a Muslim should marry a kitaabi woman (a woman of the people
of the Book), for several reasons:
1 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is
that she should be chaste, but there are very few chaste women to be
found in those environments.
2 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is
that the Muslim man should be in charge of the family. But what happens
nowadays in that those who marry women from kaafir countries marry them
under their laws, and there is a great deal of injustice in their
systems. They do not recognize a Muslim’s authority over his
wife and children, and if the wife gets angry with her husband she will
destroy his household and take the children away, with the support of
the laws of her land and with the help of their embassies in most
countries. It is no secret that the Muslim countries have no power to
resist the pressure of those countries and their embassies.
3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
encouraged us to look for Muslim wives who are religiously committed.
If a woman is Muslim but is not religiously committed and of good
character, then the Muslim is not encouraged to marry her, because
marriage is not simply the matter of physical enjoyment only, rather it
is the matter of Allaah’s rights and the spouse’s
rights, and preserving his household, his honour and his wealth, and
bringing up his children. How can a man who marries a kitaabi woman be
certain that his sons and daughters will be raised according to Islam
when he is leaving them in the hands of this mother who does not
believe in Allaah and associates others with Him?
Hence even though we say that it is permissible to marry a kitaabi
woman, it is not encouraged and we do not advise it, because of the
negative consequences that result from that. The wise Muslim should
choose the best woman to bear his children and think in the long term
about his children and their religious upbringing. He should not let
his desire or worldly interests or transient outward beauty blind him
to reality; true beauty is the beauty of religious commitment and good
morals.
He should realize that if he forsakes these type of women for the sake
of that which is better for his religious commitment and that of his
children, Allaah will compensate him with something better, because
“Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah
will compensate him with something better than that, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us, the one who speaks
the truth and does not speak of his own whims and desires. Allaah is
the source of strength and the One Who guides to the Straight Path.
And Allaah knows best.
InshaAllah examples will be given on the problems that have occured when brotehsr have married kitaabi women
.......................................................................................................................................................................................
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“I disavow any Muslim who stays among the
mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2645; classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.